Tuesday, 12 September 2017

Behavior matters!

I hope you are well and as you read this you are not in a class or you are not driving a car or you are not in a rush instead you are in our comfy clothes with a cup a tea and you are in your happy place!
So I wanted to talk about the fact that your behavior matters on a day to day basis, for quite some time but I don't why I didn't did that but recently I was asked to shed some light on  how to not let people's behavior affect you in a negative way and I am by no means any expert or anything like that but I do have my experiences and my tips of how I deal and have dealt with, in the past so yeah I am going to go through them in this post today I hope you find it helpful in one way or another.

We always say that society is bad but we never realize that we are society. We were in a class the other day and we were having a talk about various things, one of them being that 'we didn't went to that particular institute cause the environment there is not good or suitable for us' and I got a question in my head which was similar to the question that our teacher asked to them people who said that and that question was that who do you think makes the environment and how can you make this statement that environment there is not good? In my opinion as we are the society we are responsible for how the environment looks like. We make the environment, its our fault if the 'bad' environment makes you bad cause its completely up to you, how you take certain things and how you deal with them. If you will fall into the norms of that environment then you don't have a right to blame the environment! No one can indulge you becoming bad until and unless you give them the power to do so. You are the owner of your surroundings and you can make it the way you want to but you don't have any right to blame the environment. You are very powerful cause you can turn a bad environment into a gooden but never think that we make this statement that the surrounding of such and such place is not good. Your behavior can do wonders. I have seen people who have done not a lot but just by their behaviors have turned a so called bad environment into a good one and it never fails to amaze me and its not that they had to move mountains to do so, its simple and doable. 
My father has always told me this thing that there is a language of love and there is a lot that we can get done by choosing to use that language of love, fondness and affection. I was used to not give this thought an ear but as I grew older and older, I realized that how true this thing is and it can literally make things a lot more easier for you and as well as other people. Do you ever want to ask any sort of help from a person that you know is sort of aggressive and has got this sort of ' me, me , me 'problem, No. We don't ever want to seek from such kinds cause we know that we are gonna end up feeling small and dejected in the end. Instead what we like to do is we go and ask for help to a kind an d softhearted person, who we know that is trustworthy in a manner of speaking that his behavior will be polite even tho our problem is as silly as it can get, but that one person is kind enough to not insult us instead will help us out whether he will have a way or not, he will just talk to you in the most polite manner and half or more then half of your problem will be gone by the end of the talk:) 
So the point is that we are not the judges of the environment, but the creators of it. If all of us start thinking about our behaviors rather then other people's behavior we can change the environment which we think is bad which is an unjustified statement! You can turn a hostile person into a friendly one just by your behavior, and another thing which I have experienced is that a fair few people are by nature aggressive or hostile but a lot of them are because of the circumstances. I feel like and I think you will agree with me that its not the people that are bad, its the circumstances. So we should never ever label a person as an aggressive one just cause he shouted or has shown bad temperament cause you might not know the reason behind that. He might have a very untold miserable sort of story that has made him that brutal because I have seen and I know a lot of people who have been through it and the consequences have been severe. So that has taught me this lesson that nobody or maybe not a huge number of people choose the path of being aggressive but they just had to be like that sadly, which is also a dilemma and its another huge debate which I would like to talk bout , maybe in another post or something but in short we shouldn't let the circumstances make you a different person which I know is hard like literally hard but its not impossible cause if we have this thought that 'okay so they did that to make me function in a certain way, then its fine but I wont let that happen and I will prove them wrong' this thought is important and much required!!
Another thing which makes me really sad is that we think that the penultimate response to an ill behaved person is to be ill behaved and that is something which drives me crazy that how can that be a possible 'cool' attitude. 

Try to turn an ill behaved person into a well behaved one by your nice and gentle behavior and that is doable and very easy! But please get rid of this thought that if someone is not nice to you then you being the same to him is the right thing to do, its not! I know people say that don't feel so pressured to be nice to someone who isn't nice to you but have you have thought that will being nice to that person cause you any, any sort of harm? It wont ever do that. If it wont change that person's behavior, it will give you reward from Allah Almighty for a nice and kind gesture and isn't that enough!? So be nice and humble without thinking of the pros and cons! It is what is and that thought can let you not become negative in response to someone's negative attitude. You know what its all a game of thinking and sometimes even hypnotizing yourself that you have to or need to look past some things and don't let them effect you in a bad way. You know yourself better then anyone and all you need is a thought that you are not as bad as that person says you are and not as good as the other persons think you are, at least that's what I think. If you will agree that you are as good as someone has told you then you will stop and you wont work on yourself to become more and more better cause you will think oo I am good enough already so keep on competing with your own self! 

Be the big fish in the sea, if you wont the big ones will eat you! Don't feel small because you were born and now its your responsibility  to live a life that is worth it! Get courage and prove them wrong who says that you are useless, take that pressure and stress as a positive one to help you emerge as something good and not as something that they think you are cause you are not! You are capable of a lot more then you think you are! Its all a matter of knowing yourself. 

Friday, 8 September 2017

Life Pillars

Long time no see! This blog post has been a long time coming one but hey ho its better late then never so lets get talking!
So I don't really know about any thing as life pillars but I figured life becomes life by these four major pillars that I am going to talk about today. What exactly is a pillar we might think, well its a support that helps in the a structure of any thing so come to think of the ' life pillars', I feel like there are majorly four:

  • Family.
  • Relationships.
  • Career or education.
  • Mental health.
There are various other things that make life, life but these four are the basic pillars in my opinion. In order to live life to the fullest we need to have these as strong as we possibly can and its not a hard deal, I have seen people who got all these four pillars knocked on over and I have seen them rebuilt them pillars and not giving up at all even when their life got destructed cause of the pillars knocking over. Struggle makes life. There ain't no pleasure in living without hardships and wrestle. There is an evident difference between people who have every ease at hand and people who do and sacrifice a lot to be at ease. The difference in their mindsets, in their outlook on life, in their perception of being thankful, in being patient, in appreciating more. Where as the people who are born that lucky and have everything and haven't have done any major struggles to earn a great living, don't have these feelings which I just mentioned, and all of 'em are equally important cause you know feelings are what makes us human. Similarly struggle makes us sane, well its a huge statement to make and some of you might not agree with me on this but in my opinion struggle can make you 'insane' sometimes while you do it or go through it but the reward will make you sane and that's what matters. Struggle should be the key to live. Lack of faith and procrastination wont get you anywhere and their will come a time which will make you realize that wasting your time and going on an easy road was not the wisest idea of all. If you are lucky and you have these four pillars intact then its great and what should be done is that cheeky little struggle to KEEP them in place. Where as if you are one of them people whose pillars or maybe one or two pillars got knocked down, trust me you can rebuilt them what you need is 

  • Struggle.
  • Patience
  • Faith.
  • Optimism
  • Will.
  • Prayer.
  • Ultimate goal.
  • HOPE!

These are a fair few basics that are needed.
As I said that struggle should be the key to live and after that I am believer of ' The fruit of patience is sweet'. You defo need patience while 'rebuilding' them pillars uhmm its like playing Lego like the really complex one. You have to have patience till your whole piece comes together so rebuilding life pillars is somewhat like that! Onto FAITH! Well faith is faith and it can take you from nowhere to everywhere in my opinion. Optimism, its something which I rave on bout in every other blog post of mine I feel like but that is because I think optimism is that one perfectly awesome thing that everyone should have in their life. Its not hard to get, its free!! That's that. Will... an important factor, please don't let it die cause when will dies a massive destruction takes place, so try your level best to keep it alive. How to keep it alive you might ask well I think the things I just mentioned are the once that are required to keep your will alive. Prayer, its as equally important as optimism for me or maybe a little more then that. Prayers do wonders and their is no denying! Goals,we all have them. Some are small, some are massive, some are short term, some are long term. All of them are paramount. The thing tho is what we do in order to achieve 'em and all of you will agree that we don't really stick to our goals or resolutions. This thing needs to be given a thought that why that is not done, it needs to be done and when you will set a lifetime goal you will have ti work on it and GET IT AT ANY COST! Its all a matter of how serious and concerned are you. HOPE. Have it, own it, keep it alive deep down its majorly required!
Sit back and have a look at your life and the four pillars that I mentioned in the beginning and figure out which one need to worked on in order to save it from knocking over! Life is not easy but its not hard either, if lived like the way it deserved to be lived!
So that's bout it!
I will see you in my next post until then take care, have faith, live and love life and stay awesome cause YOU got this!!:)

Thank you!

Friday, 3 February 2017

Reasons to smile!

Hello! I hope you doin' well..
So being quite busy both mentally and physically,occupied in stuff and thoughts,today I thought I might talk about the fact that there are various reasons scattered around us to smile and live even in the busiest or 'occupied'  days, when the only thought we have is that how depressed or anxious we are cause there is just a lot going on and we aren't exactly sure how to deal with it.
I had a pretty hefty week, last week with work and so much on my mind as well so at the beginning of it I had the thought that how am I gonna survive it, whats gonna happen, how am I gonna manage, will it ever end and just general depressed questions so what I did was that I made a to do list on my desk and that list freaked me out cause there was a lot to be done in such less time span but I did it and placed it there and convinced myself to survive the busiest week I am gonna have after a long time..
I started it by having a girls day out to just feel great and motivated and that is not the sort of day in which you 'find' reasons to smile yet you have a day of LOLS. So obviously after that it was stressful and when you are stressful you just don't wanna laugh let alone 'smile' so that was me but then I had a thought to myself that its not how I am gonna deal with this week, if I will do it, its gonna make it worse so what I am gonna do is find reasons to smile in little things. I will try my best to pay attention to such things so that's what I did and here I am all happy and cheerful at the prospect that I had a cool yet busy week!:) 
So talking of the to do list that I made at the beginning, everyday when I came back from university and it was the time to tick off one task out of the list I cannot tell how happy it made me because that's the sort of pat-yourself-on-the-back moment and I don't know about others but its something that I savor and find a sensation of relieve that instantly makes me smile so everyday that was one thing which was guaranteed to make me smile! And on the last day when the list was all done I felt so good and accomplished to just having a plain to do list!:) 
Its true that if you set your mind to something then you really do consider what you want to do so as I had set my mind to pay attention to things, mainly little things to make me smile so I was quite keen on a lot of things and was processing more I mean I was comprehending more because I experienced it that we leave so many things unnoticed just because we aren't really keen on noticing 'em but when you set your mind to do something you automatically end up doing that particular thing. So yeah because of that 'mind setting' I actually found way more reasons to smile. One of them being me putting a bit of effort to look more human when I looked like a zombie after an all-nighter doing work..so nothing much but just that conversion from a zombie to human and then looking in the mirror and seeing that you aren't really dying of sleep or work stress just cause you have made cheeky little effort to look alive made me smile cause its the sort of 'before and after' picture. you look semi dead and then just by putting a nice outfit and simply by washing your face you can legit change the look and I don't know  maybe I am crazy to smile at such thing but yeah i did cause I did.. no reason whatsoever!:) And that has a point that you don't have to have a reason to smile just smile without any reservations! So that's that I feel like its all about paying attention movin' on to next, well we usually smile and also laugh at some texts but when we are in a rush or a bit to busy we just look at the text reply if important or just leave it. I was a bit busy when I received a text from my dad saying that he has come to pick me up and I started panicking cause I wasn't free yet, I started panicking cause he will have to wait, not because he is gonna scold me for coming late.. he's not that kinda father:) So while I was stood there in tension, I then received another text from him as if he read my mind or something, saying don't worry I can wait till whenever you get free. Don't take any sort of tension! and that was a text which made me smile a bit harder cause isn't it the sweetest thing ever so yeah that was just great on its own. It was the sort of thing that would have made me smile even if I wasn't on ' the hunt for finding reasons to smile':) but again its the little things! Kinda similar situation as it involves a 'text message' so you know that feeling of joy at a friend's text saying something that you want so that kinda thing happen when in the exact same rush on the exact same day I texted my friend that I want tea because its very cold and obviously I couldn't go so I said that in a non serious way as you do so I got a text from my friend saying come on over I am waiting in a 'serious' way without emojis and stuff which makes texts kinda 'serious' so I smiled cause I took that as a caring gesture while I just said it normally and I don't know but it was something about that text that made me smile:)
Another thing which is quite like weird but as I said that if we will start finding proper reasons behind the things that are gonna make us smile then I don't know but we are gonna make our lives harder so that thing was a raindrop that fell onto my forehead and it was just cool, rain is cool, its fresh its just the best thing ever! Is there any reason not to smile or be in a good mood when it rains I guess not.. see people its just the little things its just a matter of convincing. You can smile even in the most difficult times and that smile is gonna make you feel better its not what I am saying, its a fact! Then if you are a book worm or just love reading, being in a cool bookshop provides way to many reasons to smile its just a strange feeling that only reading lovers or book lovers can get, being around a lot of great books feels like you are surrounded by best friends doesn't it? I think it does so I went out and at the end of the week i wanted to have something nice and cool to read so I saw a novel which was in my wishlist for quite sometime and it screamed at me so I had to get it and it genuinely was a great happy feeling I don't know you might be thinking I am crazy but if so yeah I am cause I adore little things and the way they make me feel:) Now whenever that novel is chilling anywhere as I am currently reading it, whether its on my desk or my night stand or my bed or wherever I leave it which tbh I don't want to do because I want to just savor it all the time how beautifully its written by the best vlogger and blogger Zoe Sugg. No one wants to put it down and also I wouldn't want it to finish well so whenever I go round it I smile and feel very chuffed cause why not!! I adore reading and reading a thing which is making me happy there is no need to find a reason that why its doing so. So yeah its a great feeling to have a good book and just reading it and getting lost in the beauty of it and switching of from million 'depressing' thoughts that you might have its hard to switch of sometimes but sometimes you have to do it!
Getting up looking in the mirror and telling myself that today is gonna be a great one,this thing was another thing which made me smile and helped! Also kinda funny story I was walking and I saw a needy girl and I stopped and thought to myself do I have any money on me and I realized I only have 10 Rs to buy a pen so I thought I might just carry on walking cause I don't have even a penny to give her and then  I started walking and I had a thought that although I dont have much and all I have is a 10 but that might be useful to her and I can just steal a pen from my pals who doesn't do that:) So I reversed and gave her just a 10 Rs note and in return she gave me so many prayers which were way more then just a 10 Rs note and also I think I saw smile on her face which made me smile, a kinda embarrassed situation that she might have understood the dilemma I just had well it just put me in a good mood at the beginning of the day! The point is not to brag that I did an 'awesome act of kindness' I didn't, but the point is find happiness is such little things, they are around you! Life ain't all sad and depressed its full of happiness and cheerfulness but we just look past it and feel as if its only sad its not!!
So yeah the whole point is of paying attention and looking more closely at stuff!

See these are just a fair few things.. What we do is that we think happiness can only be found in huge things but no that's not that true you gotta cherish small things and eventually the bigger ones.
We all know the quote which goes something like when life give you a thousand reasons to feel depressed tell it that you have million reasons to smile and live.. So there ain't no success in proving 'life' right when it gives you reason to be sad about that's the actual time to stand and tell life that you ain't a coward it thinks that you are you aren't a loser and you are way more stronger then anyone can think of. There are 2 reasons for doing so one being proving life wrong and yourself right the other one being people are not really gonna care of your anxiety, your sorrows, your defeats! They are just gonna laugh that you are a coward, instead if you stand up even though if you are dying inside just that standing is gonna give you the courage to live and fight valiantly! And again these are not merely the things for the sake of writing, whatever I write is based on experience and I have experienced it and if I survive anybody can!  I had a really depressed day a few days ago when I thought that I wont be able to survive I am gonna lose nothing is going to work out and just felt my heart sinking and then I thought that no nothing like such and such is gonna happen you have dealt with loads and you are gonna deal with it to so I had a talk with myself which always helps me and I tried to fake a smile and I read it somewhere that if you fake a smile it can put you in a better mood and tbh it did and I was amazed! So get up and tell the life that whatever you throw at me ain't happening bro I am gonna smile and live at the same time BAM! Out of 10 people only 2 or maybe 1 will be the ONE who is actually gonna pa attention cause we ain't got time to deal with our issues how can we pay attention to anyone blabbering about theirs and that's our thoughts these days and its pretty depressing cause its not what we should think we should be really there for people when they need us but sadly we don't do it! so if you aren't really good at sharing your worries with others like me just jot them down in your diary and the pain do vanish!:)
Get up and assign yourself this task of finding reasons to smile trust me you will find so many things and will realize how many things we neglect on day to day basis!:)
Still there are a lot of times which made me smile but I feel like the post is way to long already so I might do a part two, who knows!:) Well I hope you didn't find this post very cheesy or crazy or stupid its just how I am so yeah there you have it!

Good Luck! 
see ya soon with a new post!:)