Tuesday 12 September 2017

Behavior matters!

Ello!
I hope you are well and as you read this you are not in a class or you are not driving a car or you are not in a rush instead you are in our comfy clothes with a cup a tea and you are in your happy place!
So I wanted to talk about the fact that your behavior matters on a day to day basis, for quite some time but I don't why I didn't did that but recently I was asked to shed some light on  how to not let people's behavior affect you in a negative way and I am by no means any expert or anything like that but I do have my experiences and my tips of how I deal and have dealt with, in the past so yeah I am going to go through them in this post today I hope you find it helpful in one way or another.

We always say that society is bad but we never realize that we are society. We were in a class the other day and we were having a talk about various things, one of them being that 'we didn't went to that particular institute cause the environment there is not good or suitable for us' and I got a question in my head which was similar to the question that our teacher asked to them people who said that and that question was that who do you think makes the environment and how can you make this statement that environment there is not good? In my opinion as we are the society we are responsible for how the environment looks like. We make the environment, its our fault if the 'bad' environment makes you bad cause its completely up to you, how you take certain things and how you deal with them. If you will fall into the norms of that environment then you don't have a right to blame the environment! No one can indulge you becoming bad until and unless you give them the power to do so. You are the owner of your surroundings and you can make it the way you want to but you don't have any right to blame the environment. You are very powerful cause you can turn a bad environment into a gooden but never think that we make this statement that the surrounding of such and such place is not good. Your behavior can do wonders. I have seen people who have done not a lot but just by their behaviors have turned a so called bad environment into a good one and it never fails to amaze me and its not that they had to move mountains to do so, its simple and doable. 
My father has always told me this thing that there is a language of love and there is a lot that we can get done by choosing to use that language of love, fondness and affection. I was used to not give this thought an ear but as I grew older and older, I realized that how true this thing is and it can literally make things a lot more easier for you and as well as other people. Do you ever want to ask any sort of help from a person that you know is sort of aggressive and has got this sort of ' me, me , me 'problem, No. We don't ever want to seek from such kinds cause we know that we are gonna end up feeling small and dejected in the end. Instead what we like to do is we go and ask for help to a kind an d softhearted person, who we know that is trustworthy in a manner of speaking that his behavior will be polite even tho our problem is as silly as it can get, but that one person is kind enough to not insult us instead will help us out whether he will have a way or not, he will just talk to you in the most polite manner and half or more then half of your problem will be gone by the end of the talk:) 
So the point is that we are not the judges of the environment, but the creators of it. If all of us start thinking about our behaviors rather then other people's behavior we can change the environment which we think is bad which is an unjustified statement! You can turn a hostile person into a friendly one just by your behavior, and another thing which I have experienced is that a fair few people are by nature aggressive or hostile but a lot of them are because of the circumstances. I feel like and I think you will agree with me that its not the people that are bad, its the circumstances. So we should never ever label a person as an aggressive one just cause he shouted or has shown bad temperament cause you might not know the reason behind that. He might have a very untold miserable sort of story that has made him that brutal because I have seen and I know a lot of people who have been through it and the consequences have been severe. So that has taught me this lesson that nobody or maybe not a huge number of people choose the path of being aggressive but they just had to be like that sadly, which is also a dilemma and its another huge debate which I would like to talk bout , maybe in another post or something but in short we shouldn't let the circumstances make you a different person which I know is hard like literally hard but its not impossible cause if we have this thought that 'okay so they did that to make me function in a certain way, then its fine but I wont let that happen and I will prove them wrong' this thought is important and much required!!
Another thing which makes me really sad is that we think that the penultimate response to an ill behaved person is to be ill behaved and that is something which drives me crazy that how can that be a possible 'cool' attitude. 

Try to turn an ill behaved person into a well behaved one by your nice and gentle behavior and that is doable and very easy! But please get rid of this thought that if someone is not nice to you then you being the same to him is the right thing to do, its not! I know people say that don't feel so pressured to be nice to someone who isn't nice to you but have you have thought that will being nice to that person cause you any, any sort of harm? It wont ever do that. If it wont change that person's behavior, it will give you reward from Allah Almighty for a nice and kind gesture and isn't that enough!? So be nice and humble without thinking of the pros and cons! It is what is and that thought can let you not become negative in response to someone's negative attitude. You know what its all a game of thinking and sometimes even hypnotizing yourself that you have to or need to look past some things and don't let them effect you in a bad way. You know yourself better then anyone and all you need is a thought that you are not as bad as that person says you are and not as good as the other persons think you are, at least that's what I think. If you will agree that you are as good as someone has told you then you will stop and you wont work on yourself to become more and more better cause you will think oo I am good enough already so keep on competing with your own self! 

Be the big fish in the sea, if you wont the big ones will eat you! Don't feel small because you were born and now its your responsibility  to live a life that is worth it! Get courage and prove them wrong who says that you are useless, take that pressure and stress as a positive one to help you emerge as something good and not as something that they think you are cause you are not! You are capable of a lot more then you think you are! Its all a matter of knowing yourself. 

Friday 8 September 2017

Life Pillars

Hello! 
Long time no see! This blog post has been a long time coming one but hey ho its better late then never so lets get talking!
So I don't really know about any thing as life pillars but I figured life becomes life by these four major pillars that I am going to talk about today. What exactly is a pillar we might think, well its a support that helps in the a structure of any thing so come to think of the ' life pillars', I feel like there are majorly four:

  • Family.
  • Relationships.
  • Career or education.
  • Mental health.
There are various other things that make life, life but these four are the basic pillars in my opinion. In order to live life to the fullest we need to have these as strong as we possibly can and its not a hard deal, I have seen people who got all these four pillars knocked on over and I have seen them rebuilt them pillars and not giving up at all even when their life got destructed cause of the pillars knocking over. Struggle makes life. There ain't no pleasure in living without hardships and wrestle. There is an evident difference between people who have every ease at hand and people who do and sacrifice a lot to be at ease. The difference in their mindsets, in their outlook on life, in their perception of being thankful, in being patient, in appreciating more. Where as the people who are born that lucky and have everything and haven't have done any major struggles to earn a great living, don't have these feelings which I just mentioned, and all of 'em are equally important cause you know feelings are what makes us human. Similarly struggle makes us sane, well its a huge statement to make and some of you might not agree with me on this but in my opinion struggle can make you 'insane' sometimes while you do it or go through it but the reward will make you sane and that's what matters. Struggle should be the key to live. Lack of faith and procrastination wont get you anywhere and their will come a time which will make you realize that wasting your time and going on an easy road was not the wisest idea of all. If you are lucky and you have these four pillars intact then its great and what should be done is that cheeky little struggle to KEEP them in place. Where as if you are one of them people whose pillars or maybe one or two pillars got knocked down, trust me you can rebuilt them what you need is 

  • Struggle.
  • Patience
  • Faith.
  • Optimism
  • Will.
  • Prayer.
  • Ultimate goal.
  • HOPE!


These are a fair few basics that are needed.
As I said that struggle should be the key to live and after that I am believer of ' The fruit of patience is sweet'. You defo need patience while 'rebuilding' them pillars uhmm its like playing Lego like the really complex one. You have to have patience till your whole piece comes together so rebuilding life pillars is somewhat like that! Onto FAITH! Well faith is faith and it can take you from nowhere to everywhere in my opinion. Optimism, its something which I rave on bout in every other blog post of mine I feel like but that is because I think optimism is that one perfectly awesome thing that everyone should have in their life. Its not hard to get, its free!! That's that. Will... an important factor, please don't let it die cause when will dies a massive destruction takes place, so try your level best to keep it alive. How to keep it alive you might ask well I think the things I just mentioned are the once that are required to keep your will alive. Prayer, its as equally important as optimism for me or maybe a little more then that. Prayers do wonders and their is no denying! Goals,we all have them. Some are small, some are massive, some are short term, some are long term. All of them are paramount. The thing tho is what we do in order to achieve 'em and all of you will agree that we don't really stick to our goals or resolutions. This thing needs to be given a thought that why that is not done, it needs to be done and when you will set a lifetime goal you will have ti work on it and GET IT AT ANY COST! Its all a matter of how serious and concerned are you. HOPE. Have it, own it, keep it alive deep down its majorly required!
Sit back and have a look at your life and the four pillars that I mentioned in the beginning and figure out which one need to worked on in order to save it from knocking over! Life is not easy but its not hard either, if lived like the way it deserved to be lived!
So that's bout it!
I will see you in my next post until then take care, have faith, live and love life and stay awesome cause YOU got this!!:)

Thank you!
bye!